hello....

Hello to all you moms who spend time in prayer for their families...........I write for myself....to share some answers I've had along the way and yes some of the unbearable frustrations.....I also write to maybe be an encouragement......maybe I've had some victory that someone needs to hear about to encourage them along the way...I also write because I find myself right now in a place of needing encouragement to continue........you see 2 yrs ago my husband of 4 years was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer.......after a long year of the most barbaric treatments i've ever seen he began to get better. I know some of you are saying "Halleluja" and of course I am too.....but if I'm being honest life has never been harder.....everything, absolutely everything is different....I live in a jungle of emotions that I want to somehow learn to conquer. Now I know at this point most christians would insert an "appropriate yet lovely" scripture (and don't get me wrong I love the glorious Word Of God) but honestly I just want my husband/and my life back. I'm frankly tired of the weariness I feel w/o much understanding from anyone....most people just tell me to grateful he is still here. Which of course I am.........but its just different.....so much is gone......I want to find my way back...most people are about my husband...I just need to not feel so damn alone.......then to top it off...my 18 yr. old son is about driving me crazy...not working....lousy attitude....etc. more on that another time......has anyone ever lived stuff like this....got any suggestions.........what does one do when life changes SO Drastically that you can't seem to find the way anymore......I'm all about being honest so no "flowery advice" ok. just maybe your thoughts so I can want to keep going and maybe help someone else...Thanks, Donna