its fri nite.....7:00 pm and yes i'm settled in for the night and quite happy to be i might say.......i have no desire to be out on a fri nite except maybe for dinner or something......the things that used to fulfill me no longer do.....i prefer quietness, the company of my children when they visit.....being with my husband whom im in the process of reconnecting with or at least working very hard at it...i heard an interesting message this sunday at church by our young pastor who by the way preaches way beyond his years......about letting go and forgiving...i mean really forgiving the hurts that were done to you......that maybe , just maybe the bitternesses that we hold onto (b/c we feel "entitled" to them) are the very reason why we stay sick, or stay in pain, or stay broke.etc. ....that somehow we block that wonderful pipeline to almighty God and His ever present desire to bless us. Yes I am one of those people who believes that divine healing and divine prosperity and yes just an "open heaven" is part of redemption...bought and paid for by our saviour Jesus Christ....that He not only paid the price for sin but for health, prosperity, and joy of having our needs met so that we may in turn be a blessing to others. But does what we hold against someone else clog that open heaven.....what food for thought this has been for me this week.....i am listening to the holy spirit on this.....i have so many prayers out there before God for my kids....and i'm believing for answers so i'm really listening.....what I've learned...that this is a choice, a decision, may not even be something i want to do, and its not as easy as most christians make it out to be...more later, warfare mom

my son is the best kid....it was such a hard time in the beginning of the summer...he seemed so lost...not knowing what to do next after graduation that is.....so he quit his job and slept and slept and slept...i think for about 6 weeks....finally when he was completely at the end of absolutely everything..all graduation money.....all ability to even cope himself and yes when I was all but done with him (because of his attitude and bad mouthing towards me) God literally swooped down and rescued us both.....hes working and learning the lesson of getting up and going anyway...no matter if you want to or not....i now know that even if i don't see the end there ALWAYS is one....he is the alpha and the omega...the beginning and the end......thank you my father for not giving up on my beautiful son....warfare mom

thurs nite...my husband is golfing....home alone with my son....enjoying his company....i mean really enjoying it.....it was a good day today...peaceful....not full of inner turmoil....where does that come from anyway.....i think for me it comes from wanting so desperately for my kids to be happy...when will I realize that I am not responsible for this, esp. now that they are older.....its just that you suffer if your children suffer and you want desperately to take it away....its part of the motherhood thing....but truthfully God works through so many things and we moms do them a disservice by praying it all away sometimes.....i am always learning to let go....who am i kidding..i'll never let go.....hey someone out there post a commentd.j.

well im back yes definitely back ....... i was being quiet for a while and god quite suddenly moved....my son is now working and doing quitegood at it...i can really see the change....i wonder did i really think it would be ok or was i giving up......he is a beautiful kid with quite a calling and gifting i believe....i think i was losing site of him and his heart...i should be ashamed of myself...think i was just tired of the battle but the "warfare" paid off.....what did i get from all of this.....truth be told...not much....just glad its better...well maybe that its just somewhat natural for kids to go through this stuff.....you think i'd KNOW this...hes my 4th kid....maybe its that we MUST ABSOLUTELY MUST see one another the way god sees us..that being with NEW MERCIES every morning....warfaremom